


"Say What?"

by unbelievable2



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Gen, Weekly Obbo Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 12:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3209540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbelievable2/pseuds/unbelievable2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lads get all  Shakespearean. Without realising it....</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Say What?"

**Author's Note:**

> A little ficlet in response to Weekly Obbo 260, which challenged us to produce something incorporating phrases from this...  
> [here](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/draycevixen/11524734/502925/502925_original.png)  
> ... being a list of everyday phrases attributed to Shakespeare. Though my response ended up including them all. Oops.

“Knock knock.”

“Eh?”

“Come on! ‘Knock knock’!”

“Oh, all right. Who’s there?”

“Edward.”

“Edward who?”

“’ead wood. Now, will you stop knocking on my ‘ead?’”

Doyle didn’t even bother to groan, but gave his partner _A Look_.

“That was pitiful, even for you.”

Bodie smirked.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe so-so, I agree. But do you blame me?

“What? Is something my fault, then?” Doyle turned the look into his patent _‘Aggrieved’_.

“Well, you’re the one who’s a sorry sight these days. Got yourself all in a pickle about Veronica, haven’t you?” Bodie leaned back in the car seat and eyed Doyle sympathetically. “Trouble with you is, you wear your heart on your sleeve, don’t you?”

“What can I say?” Doyle gave a heavy sigh. “Love is blind.”

“Well, you’re pretty much blind to the fact that you’re fast becoming the laughing stock of the unit. I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the Old Man to call you into his office and give you the third degree. ‘Och, man, for goodness’ sake…’” Bodie adopted his less-than-accurate impersonation of George Cowley. “ ‘…romance isn’t the be-all and end-all of life, you know! What’s done is done. Now get back to work!’”

Doyle remained silent, staring straight ahead out of the windscreen. Bodie gave him a nudge.

“C’mon, mate. It’s not like you to be so faint-hearted over a bird.”

There was another heavy sigh from Doyle.

“Trouble is, I’ve had too much of a good thing with women. It’s always been on my terms, you know? Not with Veronica, though. I suppose in my heart of hearts I knew she was playing the field; I just didn’t want to admit it. I haven’t got so much of a heart of gold as you like to think I have, mate. I’m pretty shallow about this sort of thing. The naked truth is, I don’t like being the one who’s dumped, and certainly not for another CI5 agent, for god’s sake!”

“Good riddance to her, I say, if she chooses that oik Charleson over you.”

Doyle shook his head in annoyance.

“Don’t you see, it’s me who’s the problem here. I stole her from Anson, just for spite, really - to show that I could, I s’pose - and now she’s dumped me for another agent, it’s come full circle. I feel like a… oh, I dunno - what do the Yanks say? Like a heel. It was foul play and I’m paying for it. I’ve not slept one wink since this happened, just turning it all over in my mind.”

Bodie grinned hugely.

“Ahah! I see what the problem is. It’s that old green-eyed monster! And very appropriate in your case, of course.”

Doyle snapped out of his introspection to give him a sharp look.

“Your eyes, I mean, you moron,” went on Bodie. “You’ve got green eyes, haven’t you? Now, just settle down and let Uncle Bodie help you on this.”

“I don’t need your lonely hearts advice, thank you very much.”

“Whether you like it or not,” Bodie rejoined pleasantly, “you’re going to get it. I’m not going to be pulling you out of the jaws of death on a daily basis only to have you wandering around like a wet week for the rest of the time. It’s enough to set your teeth on edge, it is.”

“Oh, and you’re a great one to be talking about relationships, you are.”

“I’m just the right person, Doyle, because I’ve got the right attitude. As far as I’m concerned, the world is my oyster. I’ll take the best of it, and I’m not going to go crying over the rest.”

Doyle snorted.

“You sound like a Barry Manilow song.” 

Bodie ignored him.

“Now, you could lie low, like you’re doing, but that’s not the way out of this. Personally, I think you have to fight fire with fire. If she wants to misbehave, then it’s fair play for you to do the same. Now me, I think this thing you’ve got with Veronica is as dead as a doornail, all right? I don’t know why you would want her back. But …” - Bodie held up a hand to stop a Doyle interruption – “but seems to me that a little gamesmanship on your side might prompt her to send him packing, and leave the field open for you. Then you can step in or not, depending on your mood…” Bodie turned his head slightly to the window, adding in a undertone, “and depending on how masochistic you are…”

“I heard that! And anyway, what do you suggest, O Great One?”

“The obvious! I’ll ring Katie – she’s panting for you, anyway. It’ll be the easiest blind date you’ve ever had. And if you need something to break the ice, me and Angie could come along as well, make it a foursome for the evening, eh? How’s that sound?”

“Like a recipe for misery.”

“That’s the spirit! We’ll have you back to normal in no time. Say Saturday, okay? I’ll ring her as soon as we get back from this wild goose chase. Now, d’you think we’d better go and check this place out, now we’re here?” 

Bodie raised an eyebrow at his morose partner.

“Yeah, I suppose we’d better.” sighed Doyle. “Though why the Old Man thinks Hickox will have tipped up here, I’ve no idea – it’s like he’s vanished into thin air.”

Bodie tapped him on the head playfully and opened the car door. Their vehicle was parked well-hidden from the farmhouse’s view, behind a spinney. There was plenty of cover to make their approach.

“Yeah,” he said thoughtfully, looking around him as his breath frosted in the cold air. “But come what may, we’ve got to find this bastard.  
That bombing plan he had – fair makes your hair stand on end, it does.”

“True,” rejoined Doyle, climbing out of the car as well and stretching, then checking his holster. “But be careful, all right? I doubt if Hickox is ready to breathe his last, for all the game is up for him. And it’ll be for Her Majesty to say ‘Off with his head!’ - not us, remember.”

“In theory, mate,” said Bodie, with a lopsided smile. “But I’m not stretching a legal point if he comes between us. If you know what I mean.” He patted the side of his nose.

Doyle stared at him, then gave him a hopeless grin.

“All right. Lead on MacDuff.”

“Oi, it’s ‘lay on’, you know! That’s what old Bill Shakespeare wrote!”

“Yeah? Well, you’re the poet, mate. Now get your gun out and let’s get cracking. ‘Once more into the breach…..’”

_-fin-_


End file.
